i leave for europe in a month from today
my life has changed so completely in just about the same time frame

other changes will take longer
but they are changes i need,
changes i never thought i wouldn’t be able to breathe without
changes i never imagined, or perhaps,
forced myself not to—for whatever reason

i smile in the mirror now

my heart beat races daily
it feels like its getting shorter

and although i’ve never been one to believe in hope
…i have to hope it’s only getting longer, instead.