Some days I feel a lot like my namesake—Travis Bickle—that is to say, out of touch with myself, disillusioned with society.
So often I find myself enraged at all of the inane, mindless, selfish things that people do, thinking about how the world is slowly going to shit. The way people drive, the way people think, the shit that people try to sell you on a daily basis, both literally and figuratively.
It pains me to think about all of the things that are driving our society into such a downward spiral. To be honest, it makes me feel crazy at times, to reflect on the problems I have with my fellow man. When all is said and done, I just find myself losing faith in humanity with each day. And it’s not as though I’m any better than anyone else; I make the same mistakes, say the same things, treat people the same way as those who I’m criticizing now.
I’m bitter, I’m lazy, I’m sick, I’m a cheater, I’m a “sinner”, I’m all of the things that are currently wrong with our beautiful (for now anyway) world. Existence itself isn’t precious, existence itself isn’t beautiful. This Earth, this natural Universe is beautiful. We all think we’re entitled to all of these things because we’re human. But I’ll tell you one thing, that’s a completely man-made assumption. We’re poisoning our world, by becoming horrible beings.
Look, I don’t want to go off on some quasi-digusted-with-humanity rant, because in truth, I think there’s still hope. I don’t think we’re pigs, I don’t think we’re barbarians, I just think we’re lost and confused. We’ve all got God complexes; overinflated senses of self importance. And we need to check ourselves, before we wreck ourselves, myself included.
I need/want to find my faith in humanity again.
Dystopian rant over.