Woke up at 10 even though I had nothing to do today. Graduation hasn’t hit me yet; it just feels like the beginning of summer. It probably won’t hit me until I wake up next September, scratch my face, stare blankly at the wall, and realize I’m not going back to school.

I hate the word bitter sweet

I spent the morning and afternoon cleaning/organizing my bookshelf because that’s the only thing that matters to me anymore.
It felt nice, but now what?
I guess I’ll take a shower, eat lunch and then go read.

I’ve got to grow up soon: figure out my future; buy a grown-up phone; stop drinking so much; find some responsibility.

Where’s the responsibility store?

More Lake George picture spam.
Just got back, embrace me, tumblr.

The day bled in, and promised never again
to return. She kissed my forehead, feverish
with summer sun, and as I blinked,
my eyelids held each other close,
out of fear. Outside the shadows grew
taller, and fell across the lawns,
and the streets, hiding the cracks in the
sidewalks, and the footprints
on the newly planted, freshly trampled grass.

I could hear the electric buzz of the cicadas
in the trees, the hum that spans
the whole sky, and makes your heart
sick for silence. When we went out—she in a long
black dress, me in a finely pressed smile—
I held her hips as though they still meant something
to me. My hair was longer then:
the kind of length you have as a kid,
when you realize, your hair is the only thing

you can control. The same song played all
night as the dusk crept up, unknowingly.
When she left me at the door, the electricity
in the air had faded, making way
to a cool silence, like the screech
of a glacier, slamming on the breaks,
as it races down the side of a mountain.

The sun rose the next day, and every
day after that. But my eyes stay shut
most mornings, as I wake from a dream
and realize how little I can control.

Lake George/Day To Remember/Hulett’s Run